Bradley R. Wilcox. Courtesy of Intellectual Reserve, Inc.

Abstract: Jesus Christ taught Thomas, and through him, all of us, “Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet believed” (John 20:29). In the Americas, the Savior taught that those who have not seen and still believe are “more blessed” (3 Nephi 12:2). How are we more blessed not to see Him? By not compelling us to believe, the Lord leaves space for choice and for faith. Choosing faith is the act that welcomes God and Christ into our lives, and their involvement and influence bring the miracle of change. The goal is not just to see God and Christ—one day we all will. The real goal is for us to receive Their image in our countenances. God tests our faith, but by so doing He educates and strengthens it.

Keywords: faith, repentance, covenants, missionary work, prayer

After the Lord’s Resurrection, He appeared to Mary Magdalene and other disciples. Then He appeared to His Apostles, but as we read in John 20: 24–28:

Thomas, one of the twelve, . . . was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said unto [Thomas], We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe.

And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them: then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you. Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing.

And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God.

Then Jesus taught Thomas and, through him, all of us this life-changing lesson: “Because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed” (v. 29). Similarly, when Christ appeared in the Americas, He said to the multitude, “Blessed are ye if ye shall believe in me and be baptized, after that ye have seen me and know that I am. [But] more blessed are they who shall believe in your words” (3 Nephi 12:1–2). More blessed? How are we more blessed not to see Jesus?

Wouldn’t it be better if Jesus just showed Himself to everyone? Elder Bruce C. Hafen once asked the same question in a humorous way: “Why doesn’t the Lord send a great chariot across the sky every day at noon, drawn by flying white horses? The chariot could stop right above the earth and then a voice from the great beyond could say, ‘And now a word from [the] Creator.’”[1]

Then Jesus could tell people that His true Church has been restored and they’d better join quickly. Missionaries might think that would be a dream come true, but Elder Hafen explained that it would not. Such a scenario would limit people’s agency. He wrote, “The Lord has used the highly visible forms of his power very sparingly—enough to leave us with clear witnesses, but not enough to compel us to believe.”[2]

By not compelling us to believe, the Lord leaves space for choice and space for faith. But why is faith so important? Choosing faith shows humility and acknowledges that God is more powerful and knowledgeable than we are. It recognizes our dependence on God and Christ. Since They will not force Themselves on us uninvited, choosing faith is the act that welcomes Their involvement and influence in our lives.[3] Their involvement and influence bring the miracle of change. The doctrine of Christ is all about change.

Faith in Jesus Christ leads to repentance. If God did not require faith and repentance, there would be no forward progress. We would stagnate, having neither the hope that we can change nor the desire to make the effort. Think of your friends who have decided to live without faith and repentance. They likely do not want to change. They may think God and Church leaders are the ones who need to change.

We exercise our faith and manifest our repentance by entering and renewing a covenant relationship with God and Christ in which we receive access to grace—Their divine help—and the sanctifying power of the Holy Ghost. Our covenants and the gift of the Holy Ghost empower change. If God did not require covenants and the gift of the Holy Ghost, we would be left with only willpower, and we all know how long that lasts every second of January.

As we endure to the end, God and Christ help us continue to learn and grow by stretching us out of our comfort zones.[4] By enduring in our covenants and continually walking in the Spirit (Galatians 5:25), we internalize the change, and over time it becomes part of our natures. If God did not require enduring to the end, many of us would likely not make permanent changes.

The goal is not just to see God and Christ—one day we all will. The real goal is for us to receive Their image in our countenances (Alma 5:14). The real goal is that when they see us, we will have become like Them (Moroni 7:48). That is why Jesus said, “Be not faithless, but believing” (John 20:27). That is why He said those with faith are “more blessed” (3 Nephi 12:2).

American author Mark Twain said, “Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.”[5] Really? Is faith just pretending? I do not believe pretending will lead to eternal life. I’m grateful there are other men and woman who have defined faith differently.

Christian writer C. S. Lewis said, “Faith . . . [is] holding on to [truth] in spite of your changing moods.”[6]

Virginia H. Pearce Cowley, former member of the Young Women General Presidency, said, “The miracle of prayer doesn’t reside in the ability to manipulate situations or events, but in . . . creating a relationship with God.”[7]

Elder B. H. Roberts, a former member of the Seventy, said, “Faith is simply trust in what [your] spirit learned eons ago.”[8]

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles explained that faith is not a choice between your head and heart, but a wise combination of the two.[9]

A former member of the Quorum of the Twelve, Elder Neal A. Maxwell, said faith is letting what we already know about God teach us to trust Him for what we do not yet know.[10]

In the Book of Mormon, Alma said, “Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true” (Alma 32:21).

But how do we know these things are true if they are unseen? Alma taught that we can plant a seed and see if it grows. In other words, we are to plant the word of God in our hearts and see if we grow. Does the word enlarge our souls? Does it enlighten our understanding? Does it begin to be delicious? (v. 28). If so, “O then, is not this real?” (v. 35). I cannot see the wind, but I know when it blows because I see its effects (John 3:8–12). “O then, is not this real?” I do not see the air pressure around airplane wings, but I see its effects. “O then, is not this real?” I do not see the electromagnetic waves in a microwave oven, but I see their effects.[11] “O then, is not this real?” I do not see love, but I see its effects. “O then, is not this real?”

I clearly remember a time when my soul was enlarged, my understanding enlightened, and the fruits of the gospel became delicious to me. It was during my mission as a young man in Chile. I grew up in a wonderful home with faithful parents. When I went on a mission, I had faith and testimony, but looking back, I realize that neither was as strong as it needed to be.

When I was in the Missionary Training Center, the adjustment was hard. I felt a little homesick and discouraged. I found it difficult to learn another language. Then I arrived in my mission in Chile and I went through culture shock. I was serving in a small branch in a mining town in the north of Chile called Vallenar. My companion and I were hundreds of miles away from any other missionaries. Now I realize my mission president trusted me. At the time I just felt abandoned and very alone. Although my companion and I were working hard, we faced much criticism and rejection. My seminary teacher had told me there are people out there who want to hear the gospel. Well, I sure wasn’t finding them in Vallenar, Chile.

Finally, one day I thought, Why am I even doing this? But I knew the answer: I was there because God had called me. God needed me. Then I had another thought I had never had in all my growing-up-in-the-Church life: So where is God? Is He even there? The thought bothered me. It shook me to the core. By the time my companion and I got back to our apartment for lunch, he could tell something was different. He said, “Elder Wilcox, what’s wrong?”

I responded, “I think I lost my testimony today.”

He started laughing and said, “Wilcox, you are so funny. You are always cracking me up. Go wash up so we can eat.”

I went to the bathroom and began to panic. I needed to be reassured. This was a job for an angel. Joseph Smith saw one, and he was younger than me. That night I knelt on my top bunk to say my prayers. I always chose the top bunk because it was a little closer to heaven and a little farther from the fleas.

With all the faith I could muster, I prayed, “God, are you there?” and suddenly my room was filled with light—and then the car passed, leaving me alone again in the dark. Great! Joseph Smith prayed and got a vision. Brad Wilcox prayed and got headlights. No answer came—nothing. I felt disappointed and even a little angry. I figured even if God were there, He was obviously too busy with His numberless children to have time for me. My companion and I taught people they could receive an answer if they read, pondered, and prayed. But I had done that. So where was my answer?

As I lay there on my top bunk, unable to fall asleep, I thought more about my situation. Had I really read the scriptures? Oh, sure. I read enough in the Book of Mormon to qualify for the ice cream party the bishop had promised. Ponder? Usually, the only thing I pondered was what TV show I was missing while I was reading the Book of Mormon so I could go to the ice cream party. Pray? Sure. I blessed all those who are not here this week that they might come next week. I prayed that we could travel home in safety. I blessed the food and the hands that prepared it and all the refreshments to nourish and strengthen our bodies and do us the good that we need. Still, had I really done as much as I could?

I am being painfully honest when I say that up to that point in my mission, I struggled to stay awake during study time. From that moment on, however, I struggled to find more study time. I read the Book of Mormon, Jesus the Christ, and A Marvelous Work and a Wonder. When zone conference and interviews rolled around, my companion and I traveled by bus to another city. During my interview my mission president, Gerald J. Day, asked, “How are you, Elder?”

“Fine, President.”

“How’s your companion?”

“Fine, President.”

“How’s your area?”

“Fine, President.”

A few more questions and a few more “fine, Presidents" later, I stood to leave. Then President Day said something he had not said in previous interviews. “Elder Wilcox, do you have any questions?”

Did I ever! Let’s start with Is there a God? Does He even exist? But how could I share my questions with him? He was the mission president, and let’s face it—if your mission president finds out you don’t have a testimony, you are never going to become a zone leader! “No, President. No questions.”

Not long after that, I was transferred to another city where my companion and I worked harder than ever and loved the members of our little branch so sincerely. I continued to study and pray. I felt better, but still the answers I sought eluded me. I felt like a gold miner digging through a mountain. I had not found the gold yet, but I was determined to keep digging until I did.

Finally, another zone conference and another interview. “How are you, Elder?” President Day asked.

“Fine, President.”

“How are your companion and your area?”

“Fine, President.”

As the interview concluded, President Day asked again, “Do you have any questions?”

Yes. I had questions, but could I admit them to my mission president? Suddenly, his name tag seemed to melt away. I didn’t care about his title. I desperately needed a friend, and he was there. “President Day,” I began, “is there a God?”

“Yes,” he responded.

“Does He know me? With all His numberless children on His numberless worlds, does He even know me?”

President Day said, “Brad Wilcox, He knows you by your first name. You may be only one of God’s numberless children, but you are one. He cannot have more children than He can care for.”

“President, does He love me? Even with all the stupid things I’ve done?”

“Yes.”

That was it. No scripture references or quotes from the Brethren. Just one word—yes.

Faith is not just knowing God can answer all our questions and take away all our uncertainties. Faith is knowing why sometimes He doesn’t. Uncertainties and questions can move us to higher learning. Courtesy of Intellectual Reserve, Inc.

Some of the most important things in eternity—think of the temple—are communicated with that one word: yes. When my mission president said that, the Spirit washed over me, confirming my mission president’s words. The Holy Ghost bypassed my physical senses and spoke right to my spirit. That night I prayed and my supplication soared. I prayed to a Heavenly Father I was at last beginning to know in the name of a Redeemer I was finally beginning to comprehend.

God had been there all along.[12] So why hadn’t He immediately answered the first time I called? Is it because He didn’t care? No. The reason He did not answer immediately is precisely because He did care. If He had answered immediately, would I ever have studied, prayed, served, and worked as hard as I had? Would I have ever learned to swim if He were still holding my head above the water? Would I have ever learned to walk if He were still carrying me in His arms? He tested my faith, but by so doing He educated and strengthened it.

I learned that faith is not just knowing God can answer all our questions and take away all our uncertainties. Faith is knowing why sometimes He doesn’t. Uncertainties and questions can move us to higher learning. Just because we don’t yet have answers doesn’t mean there aren’t any or that God doesn’t want us to find them. Keep learning. Keep serving. Keep praying. Elder Kevin Bruce Boucher, an Area Seventy in Utah, has said that what most people label a faith crisis is usually just a lack of patience. I learned for myself that God’s delays are not always denials.

Some say that those who choose faith are passive and weak, like mindless sheep; but since when do the passive and weak choose the uphill path? The passive and weak go downhill as fast as they can. Choosing and acting on faith—especially in today’s secular, unbelieving world—takes courage and strength. It takes a conscious and deliberate choice to follow the prophet because he always leads us uphill. But it is worth it because uphill is usually the only path that brings true change. We are not just going to heaven. We are growing to heaven. Our goal is not only to be with God and Jesus Christ but to become like Them. And that begins with faith. That is why Christ said, “Be not faithless, but believing” (John 20:27). That is why the Savior said those with faith are “more blessed” than those who see (3 Nephi 12:2).

Thank you for the light in your eyes and the goodness in your hearts. Thank you for choosing to dedicate this season of your life to something that really matters in a world where so few things do. Thank you for your faith. And if you or someone you love is struggling, please remember what I have shared. When you get to your missions and it’s hard and you wonder, Why am I even doing this? let me be President Day and let me testify of the truths of which I am now an expert witness: Yes, God is there. Yes, He knows you. You may only be one, but you are one and God cannot have more children than He can know by name and care for individually and personally. Yes, He loves you.

Notes

[1] Bruce C. Hafen, “The Value of the Veil,” Ensign, June 1977, www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

[2] Bruce C. Hafen, The Believing Heart: Nourishing the Seed of Faith, 2nd ed. (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1990), 8.

[3] Bruce C. Hafen and Marie K. Hafen, Faith Is Not Blind (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2018), 85.

[4] Tad R. Callister, A Case for the Book of Mormon (Salt Lake City: Desert Book, 2019), 201.

[5] Mark Twain, Wit and Wisecracks (Rye Brook, NY: Peter Pauper, 1961), 50.

[6] C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (South Pasadena, CA: Nighttown, 1952), 149.

[7] Virginia H. Pearce, “Prayer: A Small and Simple Thing,” in At the Pulpit: 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women, ed. Jennifer Reeder and Kate Holbrook (Salt Lake City: Church Historian’s Press, 2017), 292. What Sister Cowley says here of prayer, or the prayer of faith, applies equally well to faith.

[8] Cited in Truman G. Madsen, “On How We Know” (Brigham Young University devotional, September 20, 1994), https://speeches.byu.edu.

[9] Marianne Holman Prescott, “Be Faithful Disciple-Scholars Even in Difficulty, Elder Holland Says at Maxwell Institute,” November 18, 2018, www.churchofjesuschrist.org.

[10] Neal A. Maxwell, Deposition of a Disciple (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1976), 56.

[11] Thanks to Jeanne Burgon, instructor in BYU’s Department of Ancient Scripture, for sharing this thought.

[12] Elder Jeffrey R. Holland taught: “Whenever these moments of our extremity come, we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us. When we are in dire circumstances and want to cry ‘Where art Thou?’ it is imperative that we remember He is right there with us—where He has always been! We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven, even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard.” “Lessons from Liberty Jail” (Brigham Young University devotional, September 7, 2008), https://speeches.byu.edu.