Feelings of self-doubt come when we are critical of and negative about ourselves. The Savior can help as we focus on His charity, which helps us feel encouraged in times of discouragement. We can focus on how He sees us instead of on how we see ourselves.

I loved watching my toddlers staring and laughing at themselves in front of a big mirror. When they smiled, the mirror smiled back. When they frowned, it frowned back. When they danced, it danced with them. They were amazed by what they saw in front of them.

One of our greatest desires as parents is that our children have a positive image of themselves. Our heavenly parents want the same for us. I remember this statement attached to a picture of the Savior that a youth leader gave to me years ago: “The greatest gift I could give to you is for you to see yourself the way that I see you.”

What do we see? Too often we look in the mirror and focus on flaws and imperfections. We may see someone who is weak, fearful, or untalented, someone with too many wrinkles and too much weight to lose. “My hair looks terrible!” “Am I always going to have puffy eyes?” “I’m not very smart.” “The only talent I have is beating up on myself.” “I have no discipline; I just can’t stop eating all those yummy doughnuts.” Or worse, “I’m not lovable. I’m a terrible person, so God has no interest in me.”

The more we focus on weaknesses, the more weaknesses we see. We wouldn’t dare criticize our friends to make them feel better. Nor would we motivate our children with a list of twenty things that we don’t like about them. Yet we do it to ourselves too often.

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “Some people can’t get along with themselves. They criticize and belittle themselves all day long. . . . May I suggest that you reduce the rush and take a little extra time to get to know yourself better. . . . Learn to see yourself as Heavenly Father sees you—as His precious daughter or son with divine potential.”[1]

How can we see ourselves as God sees us?

Seeing Ourselves as Christ Sees Us

The Apostle Paul suggests an answer in 1 Corinthians 13. Following the verses on the characteristics of charity, in verse 12 we read, “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” Paul did not use the word glass as we have it in the King James Version of the Bible. He used the Greek word for mirror. Today we have mirrors that give us a crystal-clear image of ourselves. But in Paul’s day, polished metal functioned as a mirror, offering only a blurry reflection of the viewer.[2]

Because they were polished brass, ancient mirrors gave people only a fuzzy image of themselves. Courtesy of Wellcome Trust. https://wellcomecollection.org/works/kkhnay4w.

Another way of reading this verse is “Right now, you see yourself unclearly—like seeing a blurry reflection of yourself on polished brass. You see only part of your true self now, but when you see Christ face to face, then shall you know yourself even as you are known by Him.”

Paul explains this verse in the context of charity, the “pure love of Christ” (Moroni 7:47), the greatest of all spiritual gifts. He gives us a key to understanding how to know ourselves as we are known by God: if we can recognize God’s charity for us and share charity with others, we will begin to understand how God sees us. When we understand Christ’s pure love for us, we look at ourselves differently. When we share His charity with others, we achieve a refined character like His. Then we look in the mirror and see a clear reflection of Christ in our countenance (see Alma 5:19). Charity is the mirror through which we see ourselves clearly.

In medieval and Renaissance art, a mirror could represent either truth or pride. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” asks the vain queen in Snow White. Here, the mirror symbolizes the vice of pride. But mirrors are also used as a symbol to see truth about oneself.

Seeing ourselves through Christ’s loving eyes enables us to see the truth about our divine nature. As we accept His truth, we see ourselves with more positive and compassionate feelings. God wants us to know the truth about who we really are. “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (Doctrine and Covenants 18:10). Your worth is great, even if you don’t see it. Jesus Christ saves us not only from imperfection but also from our imperfect understanding of ourselves. We begin to understand our worth and potential when we understand His pure love (or His charity) for us.

How do we experience Christ’s charity? How does sharing His charity help us see ourselves more clearly? First, we need to ask ourselves what blinds us to God’s love and the truth of our divine nature.

Discouragement versus Encouragement

God’s abundant charity contrasts with the adversary’s unwillingness to love. The Savior encourages; Satan discourages. The Savior nurtures faith; Satan cultivates fear. The Savior promises to connect us to God; Satan aims to disconnect us from Him (and all edifying relationships). Sheri Dew reminds us, “Satan wants us to see ourselves as the world sees us, not as the Lord sees us, because the world’s mirror . . . distorts and minimizes us. Satan tells us we’re not good enough. Not smart enough. Not thin enough. Not cute enough. Not clever enough. Not anything enough. And that is a big, fat, devilish lie.”[3] Satan wants us to doubt ourselves. He tries to blur the image we see of our divine nature. How does he do it? Some of Satan’s cunning ways were described by Denise Lindberg at the 2015 BYU Women’s Conference:

Once upon a time, Satan announced that he was thinking of retiring from business and would offer all his diabolical inventions for sale to anyone who would pay the price.

On the day of the sale, the tools were all attractively displayed, despite the ugliness of most of them. Malice, hatred, jealousy, sensuality, deceit, and all the other instrumentalities of evil—each was marked with its price. Apart from the rest lay a plain wedge-shaped tool, much worn and priced higher than any of the others. Someone asked Satan what it was.

“That’s Discouragement,” was the reply.

“Why have you priced such a simple tool so high?”

“Because,” Satan replied, “it is more useful to me than any of the others. I can pry open and get inside a man’s consciousness with that when I could not get near him with any of the others. . . . It is much worn because I have used it on nearly everybody, yet few, very few, know that it belongs to me.”

And it came to pass that Satan’s price for Discouragement was so high that it was never sold. He still owns it and is still using it.[4]

With the wedge in hand, Satan remains fully employed. The adversary wants us to be distraught, distracted, and discouraged. We all experience discouragement. We all wish we were better. No one enjoys falling short. The problem is not being disappointed or discouraged but staying discouraged. There is hope. And we have help!

Can we catch ourselves when we are being critical of and negative about ourselves? Honest awareness of our weaknesses is one thing. Relentless self-negativity is something else. When we constantly criticize ourselves, we are hurting ourselves, not helping ourselves.

When we are negative about and critical of ourselves, we make ourselves vulnerable to discouragement. For example, Jordan tells himself he is too dumb to go to school, so he drops out instead of accepting his teacher’s offer to help. Every time Janice looks in the mirror, she tells herself she is not pretty enough to get married, so she stops going to social activities. Jeff thinks he is a terrible person for viewing pornography, so he avoids seeking help. Jen thinks she is not a good mother when her child makes one bad choice after another, so she gives up on herself and on him.

Self-doubt increases when we are pessimistic about our possibilities. Negative self-talk dampens our courage to act. We focus on what isn’t instead of what can be. Negativity blinds us to the confidence, hope, joy, and peace found in God’s love. Brent L. Top and Wendy C. Top shared, “If we allowed ourselves to feel as much of Christ’s love as we would want others to feel, we could set ourselves free from the chains of self-contempt that enslave us and smother our happiness and potential.”[5] We want others to feel loved and encouraged by Christ so that they can overcome self-doubt. What if we allow ourselves that same gift of love?

When we are negative and critical with ourselves, we lose sight of our divine worth and God’s love for us. My niece shared her battle with perfectionism:

I had a belief that I had to be perfect or no one would love me or want to be around me. I’m now learning that this belief is false. Yes, we are supposed to be perfect eventually, but all that is asked of us right now is to do our best now. Perfectionism is a long-term, unreachable-here-on-earth goal. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am lovable with my faults and mistakes. I don’t have to be perfect to deserve love. I am lovable simply because I am a Daughter of God. We all make mistakes. That’s what makes the Atonement of Jesus Christ such an amazing gift. We can repent and do better. I’m so thankful for such a selfless gift from my Savior.[6]

Our weaknesses do not make us less lovable in God’s eyes. We don’t have to be perfect to deserve love. We are lovable! The good news from our Savior is that He loves us! He loves us even when we make mistakes. He loves us even when we sin, even if we keep repeating the same sin. (Because of His love, He wants us to become our best selves—which requires repentance.) He loves us when we feel unattractive, unintelligent, untalented, incapable, and inadequate. The Redeemer of the world still loves us when we don’t feel good about ourselves. He is with us. Always.

A young adult said to me, “If God loves us just the way we are, then I don’t have to worry about getting any better, because I can worry about perfection after I die.” I don’t think she got the right message. “Be perfect even as I” (3 Nephi 12:48) does not mean “eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow [ye] die” (2 Nephi 28:7)—and then be perfect. Personal growth and refinement are essential during our mortal pilgrimage.

We are made in God’s image with potential to become like Him—which means we have a lot of work to do! God knows that. And so do we. Is God’s love for us less because we are not perfect like Him? No. Nothing could be further from the truth! In 1 John 4:9, 16–17, we learn, “In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because . . . God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. . . . And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect” (italics added). God sent us to earth to experience growth from a state of weakness. That is why He sent His Son—to witness of Their love for us.

When we have doubt about who we are and what we can become, we can remember that the most powerful antidote for discouragement is God’s encouragement. The Latin root of the word courage is cor—that is, “heart.” When we have courage, we have the heart to act. To encourage is to hearten—to inspire with courage. To discourage is to dishearten—to deprive of courage or confidence. Satan seeks to destroy our confidence with discouragement. But Christ’s encouragement is more powerful. His love gives us courage to act, to handle adversity, and to stretch our capability, and it grants us the motivation to become our best selves.

My sister Karen taught me the power of Christ’s encouragement. Karen saw herself through the reflection of Christ’s pure love. She knew that she belonged to Him and that He would take care of her. She endured cancer, congestive heart failure, spinal surgery, a neuromuscular disease, a heart transplant, and kidney failure. For twenty years she fought serious health challenges, and every time I asked her what gave her the strength and peace to keep going, she replied, “Christ helps me deal with pain. He gives me comfort and peace that everything is going to be OK. He fills in the gaps where I need help, and He helps me to be happy now.”

Karen’s enthusiasm and happiness were contagious. She inspired everyone to look for the positives in life and acknowledge the depths of God’s love and strength. She often said, “It takes more energy to be negative than to be positive. I don’t have the energy to be discouraged. It doesn’t do me any good, and I enjoy life more being positive.”

No one would have judged Karen if she complained about her challenges. She had reason to be discouraged. She could have said, “I can’t do anything. There’s nothing good about my life. My body is the worst. I’m hopeless.” But she didn’t. She chose to focus on the positive. I heard her say, “I can do all the things that matter most to me right here from my bed: I can nurture my husband. I can love and support my children. I can do family history work and family scrapbooks.” And she was happy. God’s love is powerful. It is encouraging. His love helps us to be optimistic about who we are, what we can do, and what we have.

Karen experienced Christ’s charity in a variety of ways. The Lord strengthened her to “bear up [her] burdens with ease” and to “submit cheerfully and with patience” (Mosiah 24:15). Christ took upon Him her pains and sicknesses, His bowels filled with mercy, to succor her according to her infirmities (see Alma 7:11–12). Karen found power and peace in Christ’s charity. She reminded us not to let discouragement block our view of God’s encouragement.

We choose where to focus our attention when we get discouraged. Again, we all get discouraged from time to time. Recognizing Christ’s love helps us not to stay discouraged.

Recognizing Christ’s Charity

Do we recognize the many ways we experience God’s love? The possibilities are endless. We can explain that the “pure love” of Christ is charity. But how do we experience Christ’s charity?

In his book Eclipse of God, philosopher Martin Buber explains that faith in the reality of God is not fostered by explaining God with reason, logic, or science, but it is enhanced by experiencing God through a relationship with Him. To experience God is to feel the presence of His love and His strength. Faith must speak of love.[7] In other words, faith is not fostered by just proving that God is real but by experiencing His love and strength.

A moment when I understood more clearly God’s love for me happened while taking my husband to the airport. He had a few minutes before his departure, and I took the opportunity to pick his brain for ideas about a talk I was preparing. He looked at me and said, “Gaylamarie, I think grace is best understood as Christ’s charity for us.” We discussed more ideas, and then he was off to Spain. On the drive home, I kept thinking about charity. I had never considered that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ manifest charity in a variety of ways to us all the time. I had always thought of their love but not about ways they exemplify charity, such as through grace. But thinking of the many attributes of charity described by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 (“charity suffereth long,” “is kind,” “thinketh no evil,” and “beareth,” “believeth,” “hopeth,” and “endureth all things”) enhanced my understanding of what Christ’s charity frequently offers me. At that moment, my heart was filled with gratitude as I thought about how Christ showed kindness to me, was patient with me, suffered for me, believed in me, bore my pain, endured my shortcomings, and had great hope for me. It was an unforgettable moment that reminded me of how I experience God’s love again and again in my life.

Moroni spoke of Christ’s charity when he prayed to the Lord in our behalf: “And now I know that this love which thou hast had for the children of men is charity” (Ether 12:34). President Jean B. Bingham said, “Jesus Christ is the perfect embodiment of charity. His premortal offering to be our Savior, . . . His supernal gift of the Atonement, and His continual efforts to bring us back to our Heavenly Father are the ultimate expressions of charity.”[8]

When discouragement hits, we can stop and recognize how we experience Christ’s charity. Paul urges, “[May] the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ” (2 Thessalonians 3:5).

How do you experience God’s love and strength? Each person experiences God’s charity differently, often manifested through the Holy Spirit. You may relate to these possibilities of how I have experienced God’s love:

• Feeling loved and at peace when my family members have passed away. (When my father, mother, sister, and brother died, I felt an undeniable abundance of love and peace during those difficult times.)
• Receiving impressions that God loves me while praying in the temple. (For me, whisperings from heaven of “I love you” come most clearly in sacred spaces.)
• Being uplifted while listening to beautiful music. (“In This Very Room,” composed by Ron Harris and Carol Harris, and “O Divine Redeemer,” composed by Charles Gounod, are a couple of songs that uplift me every time.)
• Feeling loved while reading the voice of the Lord in the scriptures. (One of my favorite scriptures is 3 Nephi 17:17: “No one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard [Jesus] pray for us unto the Father.”)
• Receiving a witness of God’s love through the words of living prophets. (Elder Uchtdorf’s words “Always remember—you matter to Him” were a powerful reminder of how God felt about me.)[9]
• Feeling God’s forgiveness as I have repented and known I am loved and accepted. (One of the many times I have felt this is when I am impatient with my family. After repenting, I feel motivated to be more patient!)
• Being strengthened and motivated to keep trying as I humbly pray. (I get discouraged if I teach a weak lesson to my college students, but prayer gives me the peace and motivation to try again.) Prayer is powerful! When was the last time you asked God how He feels about you? When was the last time you pleaded to Him, “Please help me. Please help me understand your love and your will for me”? You may have to wait. But He will answer.
• Receiving encouragement through another person letting me know God was aware of me. (A phone call from a friend at just the right moment was a tender mercy.)
• Writing in my journal to clarify my thoughts. (As a missionary, I wrote down five ways I had felt God’s hand in my life each day. This motivated me to carefully review the day’s events. The more I wrote, the more my ability to recognize God’s love for me increased. This helped me as a missionary and continues to help me now.)

What can we do to increase our awareness of God’s pure love? When discouragement hits, we can focus our hearts and minds on Christ’s encouragement through scripture study (including words from living prophets), prayer, temple attendance, and journal writing. These suggestions perhaps sound too simple and familiar, like when Elisha told Naaman to go wash in the Jordan River seven times (see 2 Kings 5:10–14). Sometimes what we need is not “some great thing” (verse 13) but simple daily spiritual habits that remind us that God loves us.

Our daily devotions allow us to store up surplus strength for the “lean years” of possible stress and disappointment. We can build a deep reservoir of faith, hope, and confidence in God’s love.

I was inspired by something author Fiona Givens said to me: “Each member of the Godhead works collaboratively—in perfect unity and harmony to minister to our needs.” I love the thought that we are surrounded by love from each member of the Godhead. We should feel important—to think that they are mindful of us, that they jointly plan for and counsel together about us, that they minister to us in a variety of ways to help us accomplish our mission here on earth.

I also relate to the strength Enos acquired from his father: “He taught me . . . in the nurture and admonition of the Lord . . . ; and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life . . . sunk deep into my heart” (Enos 1:1, 3). My father’s faith created a deep reservoir of strength for me as well. Every week in home evening, he said, “I know Heavenly Father loves you. I know the Savior loves you. And we love you too!” Week after week, year after year, I was reminded of God’s love for me; I heard it so often that I believed it—and still do! It was easy for me to trust in the love of my heavenly parents because I felt love from my earthly parents. We give a beautiful gift to one another when we love, because we get a glimpse of what it’s like to be loved by the Lord. (If you didn’t grow up with a father who reminded you often of God’s love, you can ask God directly. He will tell you. He is your Father!)

When you feel discouraged, Christ’s charity can help you feel encouraged. The more we increase our focus on how Christ sees us instead of on how we see ourselves, the more we will recognize His love for us. His love motivates us to stop being critical of ourselves and to be more loving, understanding, and compassionate with ourselves and others. Experiencing Christ’s encouragement also motivates us to share His love and strength with others.

Sharing Christ’s Charity

How does sharing Christ’s charity help us see ourselves and others through a less critical eye?

First, sharing the love of the Lord helps us overcome self-doubt as we think less about our weaknesses and more about how we can love and bless others.

I heard someone say, “When you don’t feel good about yourself, others suffer.” Why? Others miss out on our loving-kindness when we are mired in self-doubt. We miss precious opportunities to love and be loved because doubt restrains us from interacting. We avoid conversation because negative self-talk convinces us we are not worthy of someone’s time, or because we fear they have negative thoughts about us too. Our fear makes us too shy to share ourselves. When we encounter negative self-talk, we must change our focus. While serving as Young Women General President, Susan W. Tanner shared an experience when her mother taught her to change her focus:

I remember well the insecurities I felt as a teenager with a bad case of acne. I tried to care for my skin properly. My parents helped me get medical attention. For years I even went without eating chocolate and all the greasy fast foods around which teens often socialize, but with no obvious healing consequences. It was difficult for me at that time to fully appreciate this body which was giving me so much grief. But my good mother taught me a higher law. Over and over she said to me, “You must do everything you can to make your appearance pleasing, but the minute you walk out the door, forget yourself and start concentrating on others.” There it was. She was teaching me the Christlike principle of selflessness. . . . When we become other-oriented, or selfless, we develop an inner beauty of spirit that glows in our outward appearance. This is how we make ourselves in the Lord’s image rather than the world’s and receive His image in our countenances.[10]

I love how her mother told her to take care of herself—to work on being the best person she could be—and then to leave the weight of worrying about her perceived inadequacies at the door. She could forget about herself and turn her focus to others.

Sharing charity becomes the mirror that helps us see our connection with God, others, and ourselves. With selfless actions and selfless attitudes, we become more godlike. Those selfless moments become moments when we see ourselves more clearly—in a more Christlike manner—and receive His image in our countenances. Loving others refines our character.

Second, seeing others through the eyes of God helps us feel warmth and compassion for one another and for ourselves. We learn to see beyond imperfections as we love others and love ourselves—for God. One mother shared her feelings when she became frustrated with her son’s difficult behavior:

When our son was in junior high school, there were moments when his behavior was difficult to manage. I loved him but didn’t like him—at least not his behavior. And I let God know how I felt about it! I didn’t feel successful as a mother and felt bad about my feelings toward my son. I remember pouring out my heart to the Lord for help, and the clear and strong impression I received was “You may not feel like you can love him for you right now, but can you love him for me? Can you put away your irritations and frustrations and just love him for me right now? Are you willing to do that?”

I remember thinking, “Of course I’m willing to do that for You—to forget about myself and do it for You.” I was willing to love my son for God. That was a turning point in how I felt about him, how I felt about his life, and how I interacted with him. Something beautiful happened with how I saw my son’s goodness. I saw him and myself differently. And I could feel greater love from God for both of us. I’m thankful for the loving relationship I share with my son today.

Can we start by asking ourselves if we are willing to love another for Him—for our Father in Heaven? Can we do it for Him? Can we love that person for Heavenly Father even if we can’t for us—even if we are still in the process of letting go of any hurt, pain, and frustration?

Can we love for Christ?

“The place to start is with our own hearts,” says President Henry B. Eyring. “What we want with all our hearts will determine in large degree whether we can claim our right to the companionship of the Holy Ghost, without which there can be no spiritual nourishing. We can begin today to try to see those we are to nourish as our Heavenly Father sees them and so feel some of what He feels for them.”[11] Seeing others through the eyes of God allows us to feel compassion for one another, which also helps us identify how we experience warmth and compassion from God.

Experiencing Christ’s charity often happens when we extend His love to others. In Moroni 7:48 we read, “Pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love.” If we sincerely desire to love for Him, those prayers will be answered. He will help us love for Him, and beautiful things will happen to our own hearts in the process.

One of my favorite movies, Always, portrays the life of a firefighter pilot who dies and comes back in spirit to watch over his girlfriend. He tries to teach her that “the only pain we take with us into the next life is the love we withhold in this life.” I have often thought of that sentence and wonder if I am withholding love from others. After several deaths in my family, I realized that the time we have to love others on our mortal journey is very short. No time to waste! The time to love is now!

Third, sharing Christ’s charity helps us prevent and heal from sins, mistakes, and suffering. In 1 Peter 4:8 we read, “And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins” (italics added). The Joseph Smith Translation replaces the words “shall cover” with “preventeth.” Charity prevents us from acting poorly, and charity “covers” or helps us heal from wrongdoing or mistakes. I like to think of charity as healing power. Charity heals all kinds of wounds, pain, sin, and suffering.

Focusing on Christ’s charity can also heal us from a negative mindset. Pessimism can turn to optimism. Negativity about our vices can turn to gratitude about our virtues. Despair about our inadequacies can turn to hope about our possibilities. And discouraging words about our flaws and imperfections can turn to encouraging words about our attributes and blessings.

Christ can help us change the way we think. He can help us change our attitudes about ourselves. Christ’s pure love can heal our hearts and heal our minds . . . on His time. When we feel weighed down, “may Christ lift [us] up, and may his . . . mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in [our] mind[s] forever” (Moroni 9:25; italics added).

Nothing is more powerful and healing than pure love.

My mother taught me about charity and healing. Because of a massive stroke, she was left with unrecognizable speech and no movement on the right side of her body. For five years she spoke all the time, but not with sounds anyone could understand. On many occasions, when I went to the care center where she lived, I found her visiting with the other residents in their rooms. She believed that she was the welcoming committee for all new residents and took it upon herself to show love and concern for them. I watched her love others with her smile, her facial expressions, and her gestures of compassion. That doesn’t sound unusual for a friendly and outgoing soul like my mother, but to extend herself to others without recognizable speech made her conversations extraordinary. She wanted others to feel loved and cared for—whether they could understand her or not.

Many painful and difficult days came after my mother’s stroke, but my heart was touched as I saw God’s love heal her mind. Instead of being in the depths of despair about her condition, she was happy. She could have been upset about losing her ability to walk and talk and being left with only three arthritic, crippled fingers to eat with. Instead, she decided to share the joy she felt with others. Watching her often brought tears to my eyes. Her positive mindset was evidence of God caring about our optimism. Christ’s encouragement helps us find joy in the life we have and deal productively with discouragement.

My mother taught me a critical lesson: it doesn’t matter what our disabilities, weaknesses, or imperfections may be—we can always find great joy by partaking of and sharing Christ’s charity.

God’s Mirror

Describing the symbolism of the mirror in the writings of medieval Christian thinkers, author Sabine Melchior-Bonnet wrote that “all creation has its origin in the mirror of God” and that “it is precisely because there is resemblance or likeness that there is the possibility of knowing oneself.”[12] It is possible to know—to see—ourselves clearly in God’s mirror because we are His children, made in His image and reflection. To imitate His divine character is to reflect the heavenly light of our own divine nature. Instead of seeing ourselves “through a glass, darkly” (1 Corinthians 13:12), our eyes are opened to who we are and what we may become when we view life through the lens of God’s charity.

God’s charity is powerful; it helps us find happiness in the life we have and helps us transform discouraging thoughts to encouraging ones. Recognizing Christ’s charity brings clarity about our divine nature and motivates us to move forward in our personal refinement. Sharing charity helps us to think less about our weaknesses and more about loving for Christ. We become more selfless in our attitudes and actions. We learn to see beyond imperfections and love others—and ourselves—for God. In Doctrine and Covenants 88:125 we read, “And above all things, clothe yourselves with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace.” If we do this, then we shall see and know ourselves as we are seen and known by Him in whose image we are made.

Can we challenge negative and critical thoughts about ourselves by looking at ourselves through the lens of God’s pure love? Being grounded in His love changes how we feel about ourselves: “That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to . . . know the love of Christ” (Ephesians 3:16–19).

On the last day of our Camino de Santiago experience, the students had a chance to share their feelings about their journey. The comment that I heard most frequently was that they felt the love of the Lord through the love of each other. One student said, “Angels that protect and guide us are often the people that we interact with every day. Each day I walked the Camino, I spoke with someone who said something I needed to hear that day.” When we are in need of love and encouragement, our Savior sends help.

As we walk along our personal Caminos in life, the most powerful encouragement we receive is “I love you” from God above. When we are negative and critical toward ourselves, I imagine Christ calling out to us, saying, “Come join me by the fire. Warm your hands with my compassion. I love you. I see your goodness. I see your heart. I see the glorious being you are capable of becoming. Stop the criticism and see yourself as I see you. ‘As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love’ [John 15:9].”

♦ ♦ ♦

Invitation: Focus on how Christ sees you with His pure love. Focus on how you experience His love, strength, and encouragement.

Think-in-ink journal challenge: Write down ten ways you have experienced Christ’s charity. Also write two things you’d like to do to increase your awareness of His love for you.

Notes

[1] Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Of Things That Matter Most,” Ensign, November 2010, 22.

[2] See Thomas A. Wayment, The New Testament: A Translation for Latter-day Saints (Provo, UT: Religious Studies Center, Brigham Young University; Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2019), 307.

[3] Sheri Dew, “Knowing Who You Are—and Who You Have Always Been” (address, Brigham Young University Women’s Conference, Provo, UT, May 4, 2001); italics in original.

[4] Denise Posse Lindberg, “Perfection’s Path: Do Your Best, Trust Christ with the Rest” (address, Brigham Young University Women’s Conference, Provo, UT, May 1, 2015), https://www.byutv.org/player/0ba64591-e4df-4455-aad4-5835589a5e28/byu-womens-conference-denise-posse-lindberg-2015.

[5] Brent L. Top and Wendy C. Top, Finding Inner Peace: Lessons Learned from Trying Too Hard (American Fork, UT: Covenant Communications, 2015), 71.

[6] Laura H. Vogelsberg, email message to author, May 28, 2020.

[7] See Martin Buber, Eclipse of God: Studies in the Relation between Religion and Philosophy (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2016), xii–xv.

[8] Jean B. Bingham, “I Will Bring the Light of the Gospel into My Home,” Ensign, November 2016, 6.

[9] Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “You Matter to Him,” Ensign, November 2011, 22.

[10] Susan W. Tanner, “The Sanctity of the Body,” Ensign, November 2005, 15; italics added.

[11] Henry B. Eyring, “Feeding His Lambs,” Ensign, February 2008, 6.

[12] Sabine Melchior-Bonnet, The Mirror: A History, trans. Katharine H. Jewett (New York: Routledge, 2002), 113, 112.